Why me?
by Bella.in.disguise
Summary: Tragic One-shot. For IsabellaMarieCullen3214's challenge. Review!


**Ok so this is a one-shot for **IsabellaMarieCullen3214 **'s challenge it's extremly detailic, and shows why I hadn't been working on my other story. Hope you all enjoy.**

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I headed back home after saying my good-byes to Charlie. I was supposedly going off to University of Alaska the next day. That's what I was telling my human friends anyway. Today was my last official day of being human. For the next three days, I would be in a changing state, not quite human, not quite vampire, before I was fully changed into a vampire. This is what I wanted, so why was I so damn nervous about this happening? If I was actually honest with myself, I knew it wasn't the prospect of facing Jacob's pack after the Cullens' broke the treaty or the thought of never being able to see Renee or Charlie again. I was a sucker for pain, and the memory of that day in Phoenix still haunted me.

As I parked my truck in between Edward's shiny Volvo and Alice's 911 Porsche Turbo and got out, being careful not to hit my rusty red door against Edward's door. Suddenly, a shiny blue Corvette convertible pulled up in the driveway, rap music pounding loudly through the speakers.

The next series of events happened too quickly for me to comprehend. I was aware of a vampire rushing towards me and knocking me over. I was in shock, so I didn't feel the pain yet.

The breath was knocked out of me as I hit the ground hard. The last thing I would remember seeing is a pair of haunting ruby red eyes.

There was a stabbing pain along with a near unbearable pressure in my neck where the vampire was now positioned. Unlike with regular scrapes (which I had picked up when I fell), this pain did not go away. It was excruciatingly painful and felt as though someone was jabbing a hot knife through my fragile skin.

"Bella!" came the all too familiar musical, velvety voice, the voice of my savior, the voice of my only love, the voice of my reason for eternal life. The voice however, was terrified at the sight of what the owner of the voice saw.

The overwhelming pressure on my neck was lifted, but the pain was left behind. There was an unmistakable growl from my beloved Edward, one that was horrible to listen to. There was an answering, equally menacing growl from the attacker as both crouched in defensive positions. This scene was too familiar. I had a sudden wish that Seth Clearwater could magically appear out of the woods and kill the attacking vampire. Hell, I'd even settle for Sam Uley or Jacob Black at this point. Just as long as I wouldn't have to watch this! It was ten times more painful watching Edward slowly stalk towards the attacking vampire, who was matching my savior step for step.

The sound of two vampires crashing into each other is often described as thunder rolling off the clouds. This was much worse. It was if a volcano had just gone off beside me, followed by the most hideous screeching sound I had ever heard. There was nothing in the world that could compare. It was a million times worse than fingernails on a chalkboard as the two battling vampires tore each other, desperate to make each other shreds. Both were fueled by a fierce emotion; the stranger by loss and my Edward by love for me.

Edward was losing the fight. His retaliations were coming back slower, and less aggressive as time wore on. The stranger was twice his size and strength. The battle had been lost before it had even began. The worst part was that there was nothing I could do to stop it. I was going to lose Edward… forever.

"No!" I screamed, just as the opposing vampire went in for the kill.

I couldn't close my eyes as he was ripped apart. I so desperately wanted to, but an insane part of me forced my other half to watch the one that I would have given anything for be ripped to shreds. My heart shattered as his beautiful gold eyes connected with mine.

"I will always love you, Bella," he whispered, just as the other vampire ripped off his head.

I screamed. I screamed because Edward was dead, I screamed because my heart was breaking, and I screamed because I hurt too much to do anything else. I didn't even register that I shouldn't have been able to hear Edward's last words.

The strange vampire finished Edward off, and sauntered back towards me. His red eyes were even more malicious now that he had won the fight for me. In a way, I was glad that he hadn't finished me yet. Now, I could join Edward in wherever we went and I could be with him forever. There was one thing I hadn't counted on though: Alice. She had heard the fight and was now jumping in, not even realizing her brother was dead. Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, Rosalie, and even Esme joined in the fight and soon brought the large, rival vampire down.

It was too late, though, for Edward was gone. My sole reason for existence was now dead. I had no reason to keep living or breathing. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. Edward…

The smell of smoke made me cough and gag as I tried to crawl over to where the fire was. Two stone cold arms held me back. I fought against them, trying desperately to get free.

"Let me go, Alice!" I screamed, pushing against her. The effort was futile, though. She merely pulled me against her chest and let me cry. I cried because of the pain of becoming a vampire, I cried because a painful hole was opening in my chest, and I cried because he was gone. My only reason for living was gone.

"It's going to be okay, Bella," Alice whispered soothingly. Her cold arms were comforting at first, until I started remembering everything that happened in his icy arms. I cried even harder at first. Then I broke away.

"No it's not, Alice!" I yelled. "Edward is gone! You should have let me die too! I don't eat to live without him!"

Her perfect features crumpled in pain and anger. She left my side and disappeared. The pain intensified when she left and I started crying again. I tried desperately to get away from the pain that was consuming me, but nothing seemed to work. I screamed again as the venom neared my heart. It grew steadily worse until I couldn't breathe anymore. Everything went black.

I don't know how long I sat there after that. It could have been an hour; it could have been a year. My transformation was complete and I was now what I wanted more than anything in the world. But it seemed useless without him. He was my only reason for eternity. There was nothing left for me in this world.I sat there, trying to think of a way to end this overwhelming pain that washed over me as memories flooded me. Memories of his laughter, of his voice, of his perfect face… it was all too much to bear. The emotional pain was ten times worse then the pain of the transformation. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get away from everything that reminded me of him.

I don't know how long I sat there after that. It could have been an hour; it could have been a year. My transformation was complete and I was now what I wanted more than anything in the world. But it seemed useless without him. He was my only reason for eternity. There was nothing left for me in this world.I sat there, trying to think of a way to end this overwhelming pain that washed over me as memories flooded me. Memories of his laughter, of his voice, of his perfect face… it was all too much to bear. The emotional pain was ten times worse then the pain of the transformation. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get away from everything that reminded me of him.

It's funny how déjà vu has a way of creeping up on you. Only a year ago, I was blundering around Forks, trying to find a place that did remind me of him. Now I was trying to find a place that didn't. The trees that flew by as I raced through the woods reminded me of that day long ago when we hiked to his meadow. I stopped running, because it reminded me too much of him. The way he laughed as he ran… the wind whipping my face… all these memories seemed to be taunting me. I sat down beside a tree, too emotional to want to go any further and too thirsty to go any farther. So I sat beside the tree, letting the memories of him get the best of me. I sat there, unable to move and unable to care. That is how I stayed for the rest of my existence… unable to move and unable to care beside that tree as wave after wave of pain washed over me. Edward had died, and in a lot of ways, so I had I.

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